


shadow

by kireinayuta



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: ??? - Freeform, Body Worship, Crying, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Insecurity, Kissing, Light Angst, M/M, Pet Names, Self-Esteem Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-06
Updated: 2019-08-06
Packaged: 2020-08-10 13:22:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,998
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20136124
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kireinayuta/pseuds/kireinayuta
Summary: jaemin looks into the mirror too long one morning. jeno thinks he’s beautiful.





	shadow

it's a rainy afternoon when jeno decides that he's going to surprise his boyfriend when he gets home. 

he's abnormally determined as he comes home from his classes, which is out of the ordinary since he usually passes out as soon as he steps foot into his shared apartment. 

but he doesn't let himself succumb to his drowsiness, and instead he heads straight to the kitchen to start preparing his boyfriend's favourite meal on a rainy night: spaghetti and meatballs. he remembers that jaemin always used to gush about how when he was still in middle school, his mom would have a hot bowl of spaghetti and meatballs waiting for him when he came home on those gloomy days. jeno thinks the story is endearing, and can't wait to see the cute little smile he knows will place itself onto jaemin's mouth once he sees the dinner jeno had prepared for them. 

it's simple, at first, since jeno isn't a stranger to the kitchen. he often helps jaemin out with whatever the younger plans on making, and he's even earned the title of an 'a1 assistant', which, from jaemin, means quite a lot. he knows that he has to add salt and cooking oil into the boiling water, letting the water boil completely before dumping the spaghetti in. he also knows that he has to add herbs and actual spices into the ground meat before boiling the spheres and finally frying them a bit in the pan. he also knows that how to make the tomato sauce which jaemin's grandma is known for, since he's been to one of those gatherings where all the na's head over to jaemin's grandma's house to stock themselves with homemade pasta sauce. 

jeno thinks he's quite useful in the kitchen and he hopes that today's dinner will prove that to jaemin. hopefully, he'll be let into the kitchen a lot more, and maybe he could even get promoted from an 'a1 assistant' to 'stellar chef'. he looks forward to the future as he cuts up some tomatoes. 

it's only twenty minutes later, when jeno is draining the pasta from its boiling water, that he hears the front door open. 

jaemin must be home. 

"nana, is that you?" jeno asks from the kitchen, keeping his attention on not spilling the water out of the sink as he drains the spaghetti. 

"yeah," jaemin answers easily, and the elder hears jaemin put down his keys and shuck off his shoes. "i'm gonna take a shower, i'll be with you in a minute," he adds, voice already becoming softer as he treks deeper into their apartment. 

jeno thinks it's odd how jaemin didn't greet him with his usual kiss, but he doesn't pay it much mind. it's not that big of a deal anyways, he'll just bug jaemin for extra kisses after dinner. 

jeno busies himself with chopping up some parsley leafs to save for garnishing, because yes, he knows what garnishing is, at the end. he plates their spaghetti, adding five meatballs on each of their plates, before sprinkling the parsley on top and grating a block of parmesan cheese to finish. 

jeno feels a bit too proud of himself. so proud that he takes a picture of their dinner and sends it to the group chat consisting of their friend group, specifically speaking to chenle when he says 'challenge me next time, who wants a cook off?'.

honestly, he hopes no one takes him up in that offer. 

it's when he's done placing their plates on the dining table that he realizes that jaemin's been gone for forty minutes. he frowns a bit, taking his (jaemin's), cute yellow apron off, heading towards their shared bedroom. jaemin isn't in the room, but the light in the en-suite is on, he sees from the crack underneath the door. 

"jaemin?" he asks, knocking lightly on the door with two of his knuckles. "you've been in there quite a while. are you alright?" 

silence is what jeno gets as an answer, and he's honestly starting to get a little worried. he can't hear the shower running, so he knows that jaemin's out of the bathtub. frowning, jeno calls for him again. 

"jaemin?" 

"y-yeah?" the younger's voice asks, sounding off to jeno. jaemin's voice sounds stuffy and it cracks as he speaks, which prompts jeno's frown to deepen. 

"are you okay?" he asks, and when he once again receives silence as an answer, he twists the knob and opens the door. 

the second he steps foot into the bathroom, jaemin turns his back on him. he has a towel around his shoulders, and from what jeno can see, is only wearing boxers. half of his face is buried into the towel, which jaemin has brought up past his shoulders. he seems to be rubbing at his eyes, and jeno can't help but think that it's only going to irritate the sensitive skin around jaemin's eyes. 

"hey, did you get shampoo in your eyes? don't do that," the chastises lightly, going to grab the wrist of the hand which has been constantly rubbing at his right eye. 

jaemin remains silent, and jeno is starting to get significantly more worried. normally, jaemin comes prancing into their apartment, which made his quite quiet entry today seem odd. he also always greets jeno with a sweet little kiss, which is why it seemed out of character for jaemin to head to the shower before kissing him. and it was just weird for jaemin to shower at this time, he normally showers right before going to bed. the way jaemin has been unusually quiet is also questionable, and jeno just wants to know what's happening. 

"sweetheart, is everything alright? you're starting to scare me a bit," jeno chuckles, trying to lighten the atmosphere enough to get jaemin to even look at him. it seems fruitless though, as the younger simply stays with his back facing him. 

he's about to say something else, but he's stunned to silence when he hears jaemin sniffle. 

jeno seems to be frozen in place, not knowing what to do, but when he hears a cry fall from jaemin's lips, he knows he can't just stand there doing nothing. 

so he gently places his hands on jaemin's shoulders, turning him around slowly, to see if jaemin will let him. thankfully, he doesn't struggle, and just lets jeno turn him around so that they're face to face. from here, jeno can see the irritated skin around jaemin's right eye, just as he thought. 

along with the red irritated skin, jeno watches as tear after tear slips from jaemin's eyes, his heart clenching with every stray drop of liquid. 

"no," he says softly, quietly as he gently cups jaemin's face, using his thumbs to wipe the tears away. "please don't cry. i hate it when you cry." 

jaemin makes a disgruntled sound in the back of his throat, and before jeno has any time to even understand what that mean, jaemin is crying into his shoulder. 

confused and just slightly alarmed, jeno brings a hand up to pat jaemin's head, using the other one to keep the towel secure around jaemin's shoulders. the younger is starting to shiver a bit, and jeno is afraid he might catch a cold. 

jeno makes a move to slide his hands down to jaemin's thighs, grasping onto the underside so that he can lift him up onto the vanity. jaemin, however, doesn't seem to like that, bringing his arms up to cling around jeno's shoulders. the action makes the towel slip off of his shoulders, but the elder catches it before it can hit the floor. 

once jaemin is settled onto the vanity, jeno draps the damp towel around him again. 

"i'm gonna get you some clothes, okay? i don't want you getting sick," he says softly, using his hands to wipe at jaemin's cheeks. his body convulses every few seconds with his hiccups, but he's calmed down, for the most part, which makes jeno comfortable with leaving him in the en-suite for a few seconds. 

once he's back, jaemin's shoulders are hanging low, and he's swinging his legs back and forth. when he hears jeno walk into the bathroom, he snaps his head up to look at him, immediately asking him a question. 

"a-am i pretty?" 

the question catches jeno off guard, it must've shown with the way he freezes for a second. once he regains his composure, jeno simply takes the towel off of jaemin and uses it to pat his hair dry. 

"very much," he answers, discarding the towel onto the toilet lid for the time being. "you're beautiful." 

jaemin's breath hitches at that, watches jeno's face intently as the other starts pumping their shared japanese cherry blossom lotion, rubbing his hands over his legs first. 

"are you l-lying?" 

jeno fully stops his actions, looking up at jaemin with an unreadable expression on his face. he simply brings his face closer enough to jaemin's so that he can take the younger's lips between his own, kissing his softly with passion. 

"never." he whispers against his lips.

jaemin's lips tremble at the confession, watching with a sad expression, but fond eyes, as jeno goes back to rubbing lotion onto his legs. 

he stays quiet until jeno's finished rubbing lotion onto his arms, he's quiet until jeno hands make their way to his stomach. his breathing picks up, and it's noticeable enough for jeno to stop what he's doing, instead looking up at his boyfriend with concerned eyes. 

"j-jen, it's so fat," jaemin practically sobs, eyes once again welling up with tears as he curls into himself with disappointment. 

eyes widening at jaemin's words, jeno immediately finds himself shushing the younger, lifting his head up by tilting his chin upwards. 

"hey," he calls. "i love everything about you." 

jaemin still can't meet jeno's eyes, so the latter decides to continue. 

"i love your cute little hands. i love your long, sexy legs. i love your beautiful face. i love your soft little tummy. i love your laugh, your voice, your smile and... just you. i love you, jaemin. i love you for you, and nothing's going to change that." 

jaemin makes a noise at those words, jeno can't gage at what type of noise it is, but he tears his eyes away from the wall, looking jeno with watery eyes and grabby hands. 

the elder complies, wiping his hands of the lotion on them on the discarded towel, lacing his fingers together with jaemin's as requested. 

"what's going on, hm princess?" 

the name has jaemin melting, learning his head onto jeno's shoulder. 

"i looked in the mirror t-too long today," jaemin admits shamefully, voice thick with tears. "and i d-didn't like what i saw." he whimpers. 

the revelation breaks jeno's heart, but he's thankful that at least jaemin can tell him this much. 

"jaemin," jeno starts, kissing part of jaemin's neck, whatever he can reach from this angle. "when i look at you, a million different things pop up in my mind. and they're all reasons towards why i love you. it's okay if you feel icky some times, or if you don't like what you see sometimes. whenever you feel that way, don't look at the mirror. look at me. i'll tell you the truth the mirror is hiding from you." 

jeno's words are the sweetest words jaemin has ever heard, and he finds it hard to keep his sob from slipping from between his lips. but it's okay. jeno understands that it's a relieved cry, if anything. 

"jenojaem," jaemin whispers, pressing his forehead against jeno's. he sounds congested as he repeats the stupid nickname his friends have given him, smiling tearfully at him. "forever. i'll love you forever." 

forgetting about their cold dinner on the dining table, he finds himself leaning in to peck jaemin's lips. 

jeno hums. 

"i like the sound of that. now let's get you dressed hm? you're shaking, sweetheart."


End file.
